Showing posts with label Correct death predictions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Correct death predictions. Show all posts

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Breaking news:
Andy Rooney dead at 92.

Date: 5 Nov. 2011

Andy Rooney is dead. The low rent Examiner said he wasn't long for this world in the middle of last month, so this counts as another correct death prediction. Rooney is the fourth person predicted to be dead soon in 2011 who has actually died. Dozens have been slated for death this year and are still alive, many with much more certainty than the prediction for the 92 year old Rooney.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Breaking news:
Steve Jobs dead at age 56.

Source: NPR
Date: 5 Oct. 2011

Several news sources are confirming Apple's announcement that Steve Jobs died today at the age of 56. While Jobs did outlive the six week deadline the National Enquirer set for his demise earlier this year, he is the second person to get an Expiration Date from the tabloids who outlived the prediction but died within the year, the first being Elizabeth Edwards.

Best wishes to the friends and family of Steve Jobs.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

The nine month review for 2011, part 1:
Death predictions

Time flies when you are remaining alive, and most of the people who the gossip rags have marked for death this year have done just that, remained alive. Let me list the "successes" for the vultures of the tabloid press first, because the list is short.

These people were first marked for death in 2011 and they died in 2011.

Peter Falk
James Arness

These people were marked for death in 2010 and they died in 2011.

Anne Francis
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

And here is the list of new people who are allegedly near death's door according to the rags who predict death, which for the most part are the Three Wicked Step Sisters, the Enquirer, the Globe and the low rent Examiner.

Chuck Berry
Paula Deen
Larry Fortensky
Miss Maureen O'Hara
Glen Campbell
Jack Klugman
Miss Angela Lansbury
Miss Kitty Wells
George Jones
Roy Clark
Donna Fargo
Dick Van Dyke
Steve Jobs
Amber Portwood
Charlie Sheen
Barbara Bush
Barry Manilow
Chaz Bono (dangerous diet, but not really)
John Edwards (suicidal)
Kendra Wilkinson (suicidal)
Casey Anthony (either suicidal or she's going to be murdered)
Ali Lohan (too skinny)
Taylor Armstrong (too skinny)
Reese Witherspoon (had a concussion)

And then there's the list of people mentioned before the beginning of the year that got mentioned again.

Kirk Douglas
Miss Doris Day
Regis Philbin
Miss Loretta Lynn
James Garner
Billy Graham
Bob Barker
Jerry Lee Lewis
Nancy Reagan
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Aretha Franklin
Whitney Houston
Bill Clinton

This means for this year, 2 correct predictions and 37 people who are still alive, some with health problems that could be life threatening, many with the promise of many years to come. 2 of 39 is a pathetic batting average of .051, and the overall numbers are 10 of 92 for .109, over twice as good as the numbers for last year but still incredibly bad.

Eventually, if they stop predicting, they have to bat 1.000. It's stunning how bad they are at this verifiable stuff, which calls into question all the stuff they write we can't verify.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Breaking news:
Peter Falk dead at 83.

Publication: Huffington Post (via Associated Press)
Date: 24 June 2011

Peter Falk, best known as Lt. Columbo from the long running TV series, has died at the age of 83. I loved his work in The Princess Bride and Wings of Desire, as well as many other roles.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Peter Falk, from a fan.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Breaking news:
James Arness dead at 88.

Publication: Associated Press
Date: 3 June 2011

James Arness, the tall, rugged actor who played Marshall Matt Dillon on Gunsmoke for twenty years, died today at the age of 88. The low rent Examiner put him on the tabloid death watch about three months ago. His younger brother Peter Graves died last year.

Best wishes to the family and friends of James Arness.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Three month review for Spring 2011, part one:
Death predictions.

Since the beginning of the year, two celebrities who had been marked for death in the tabloids actually died. The first was Anne Francis, who died on January 3 this year. The low rent Examiner told us she was dying in June last year.

The other celebrity who died in the last three months after multiple predictions of her death going back at least fifty years was Miss Elizabeth Taylor. Most of the death predictions in the tabloids either say "xxx dying!" or "zzz's Brave Last Days!" but give no date as to when we can expect the inevitable. The Globe said in February that Miss Taylor's birthday last month would be her last, and with this they got the first correct expiration date.

And now the not so good news for the tabloids.

Six new names have been added to the list since the beginning of the year: Chuck Berry, James Arness, Steve Jobs, Nancy Reagan and Regis Philbin. This brings the number of people on the tabloid death watch who are still alive to 63, while 8 have died after being marked for death. This makes the tabloid batting average a pathetic .113.

And then there are the predictions with expiration dates. Since the beginning of the year, Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton and Steve Jobs have all survived past some tabloid prediction of their imminent demise. Others who have survived through such dire warnings last year are Dick Clark, who is still alive, and Elizabeth Edwards, who died two months after the "six months to live" date given to her by the Enquirer.

As my good friend Padre Mickey reminds us, if you say "xxx is dying!", you will eventually be correct. But if you read it in a tabloid, especially in the Three Wicked Step Sisters, the Enquirer, Globe and the low rent Examiner, don't hold your breath waiting for it.

Holding your breath that long can kill you. You can look it up.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Breaking news:
Elizabeth Taylor is dead at age 79.

It is being reported in all major news outlets that the legendary actress Elizabeth Taylor has died at the age of 79. As a child star, it was obvious she had a lovely face. When puberty hit, she had an astonishing figure. As for her acting ability, her husband Richard Burton once said "I'd be on the set and I'd think 'She isn't doing anything.' Then I'd see the rushes and I'd know. She's doing everything and she's doing it perfectly."

By all accounts, she was a loyal friend to many a troubled soul, including Montgomery Clift and Michael Jackson just to name two. My mom was eight days older than Liz, which might explain why I always had a soft spot for the star, though I never so much as shook her hand.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Elizabeth Taylor, from a devoted fan.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Brave Last Days Alert:
The Enquirer and Globe gang up on Liz Taylor

Publications: National Enquirer, Globe
Date: 28 February 2011

Last week, the Enquirer had a big bold headline saying it was THE END for Miss Elizabeth Taylor. As often happens, the Flagship jumps the gun on this stuff a lot. The real news is that she was diagnosed with congestive heart disease several years ago, she recently entered the hospital in Los Angeles, and while the stay in the hospital is continuing, her doctors say the health of the film legend is steadily improving.

This of course does not stop the Wicked Step Sister tabloids from continuing to shovel dirt on her.
  • National Enquirer: Liz: Secret heart operation
  • Globe: Dying Liz's last birthday party before being rushed to the hospital with heart failure
Because the Globe put the phrase "last birthday party" in the headline, this counts as an Expiration Date, since they do not expect her to see her birthday in February of next year.

I have no inside information, as usual, but I for one would not bet money against Miss Elizabeth Taylor. Not only is she one of the last living legends in Hollywood and an incomparable beauty, deep down were it really counts, Miss Elizabeth is a tough old bird.

Best wishes as always to Miss Elizabeth Taylor, her friends and family, from a fan.

UPDATE: Miss Elizabeth Taylor died on March 23, 2011, so the prediction that this was her last birthday party is the first correct Expiration Date of 2010-2011. The Enquirer got a lot of credit for saying Michael Jackson had six months to live, but they make these kinds of predictions frequently and almost always get them wrong.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Breaking news:
Anne Francis dead at 80

Publication: USA Today online
Date: 3 January 2010

Anne Francis, the lovely actress best known for her roles in the sci-fi classic Forbidden Planet and the 1960s private detective show Honey West, has died at the age of 80 today. The cause was pancreatic cancer. The low rent Examiner reported on her health problems last June. She died almost exactly a month after her Forbidden Planet co-star Leslie Nielsen.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Francis, from a fan.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Elizabeth Edwards' Brave Last Days

Publication: People
Date: 20 December 2010

The Gold Standard puts Elizabeth Edwards on the cover less than 48 hours after she dies, a very quick turnaround for a magazine. Another difference between People and the rest of the pack is that they only use "Brave Last Days" to describe someone who has already died. The sub-headline reads "Loved ones recall her courageous life, hard fought battles and devotion to family".

Best wishes to the family and friends of Elizabeth Edwards.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Breaking news:
Elizabeth Edwards dead at 61

Publication: Christian Science Monitor
Date: 7 December 2010

Yesterday, the news was that Elizabeth Edwards had suspended cancer treatments because the disease had spread so far. Today, the report is that she died.

Of all the death predictions in the gossip magazines this year, the ones that were also sourced in the legitimate press were the illnesses of Dennis Hopper and Elizabeth Edwards, both of whom are now gone. I really hoped there would be good news for her, but the prognosis was grim and even People magazine gave her a cover story where she said "I wish I had more time." This is the only story from People this year that added to the death watch list.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Elizabeth Edwards, from an admirer.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Breaking news:
Barbara Billingsley dead at 94

If I were superstitious, coincidences would mean more to me than they do. That said, I will note that the correct death predictions this year have been a little eerie.

In late May, the tabloids had no correct predictions. A week later, Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper and Rue McLanahan had all died.

In September, I printed the nine month review and remarked that the tabloids, most especially the Three Wicked Step Sisters, had added a lot of names to the list, but still there were only three correct predictions. One day later, Tony Curtis was dead.

This morning, I brought up that the Enquirer said Elizabeth Edwards would be dead within six months and that was six months ago, so swing and a miss for The Flagship. But the Enquirer was the first to give a warning of impending demise for Ms. Billingsley almost exactly nine months ago, though they didn't tell us how long she had.

The numbers are now five correct predictions out of a total of fifty eight this year. I fully expect there may be more to die this year, but I also expect the vultures to mention more people who still have years of life ahead of them. They are batting a miserable .086, after all.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Barbara Billingsley, from a fan.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Breaking news:
Tony Curtis dead at 85

Publication: New York Times
Date: 30 September 2010

Not one day after I post a review saying that the tabloids suck at predicting who will die, they get their fourth correct prediction of the year. Tony Curtis, the Oscar nominated actor whose greatest popularity came in light comedy, has died at the age of 85 of cardiac arrest in his Las Vegas home. The Globe printed a story about his health woes in late July.

My favorite role of his is in Sweet Smell of Success with Burt Lancaster. He was also very good in Some Like It Hot and Spartacus. He was married to Janet Leigh and Jamie Lee Curtis is his daughter so, good on ya, Tony.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Tony Curtis, from a fan.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Breaking news:
Rue McClanahan dead at 76

Publication: Associated Press
Date: 3 June 2010

Rue McLanahan of Golden Girls fame has died at the age of 76 from complication of a brain hemorrhage. There's a lot of that going around these days, and I would like for it to stop, thank you very much. Ms. McLanahan underwent treatment for breast cancer in 1997 and had bypass surgery last year.

I want to disabuse people about The Rule Of Threes, but that's going to be a little more difficult this week. In the space of seven days, the tabloids have gone from zero correct predictions for the year to three.

Best wishes to Ms. McLanahan's family and friends.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Breaking news:
Dennis Hopper dead at 74

Publication: Associated Press
Date: 29 May 2010

In two days, the number of correct predictions for the year jumps from zero to two for the tabloids foretelling the deaths of celebrities as Dennis Hopper dies from complications of prostate cancer. He was 74.

The Enquirer first had Hopper's health problems on their website in January and the Examiner put him on the front page that same month. His health problems were also covered in the legitimate press as well.

Best wishes to all Mr. Hopper's friends and to most of his family, from a fan.

Friday, May 28, 2010

First correct prediction of the year: Gary Coleman dead at 42

Publication: Radar(online)
Date: 28 May 2010

Gary Coleman has died from a brain hemorrhage at the age of 42. The National Enquirer first published a story this year about his serious health situation in early February.

The tabloids now have one correct prediction for the year, coming on the 148th day of the year. There are still 33 people who they have marked for imminent death this year who are still with us.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Gary Coleman.