Saturday, October 1, 2011

The nine month review for 2011, part 1:
Death predictions

Time flies when you are remaining alive, and most of the people who the gossip rags have marked for death this year have done just that, remained alive. Let me list the "successes" for the vultures of the tabloid press first, because the list is short.

These people were first marked for death in 2011 and they died in 2011.

Peter Falk
James Arness

These people were marked for death in 2010 and they died in 2011.

Anne Francis
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

And here is the list of new people who are allegedly near death's door according to the rags who predict death, which for the most part are the Three Wicked Step Sisters, the Enquirer, the Globe and the low rent Examiner.

Chuck Berry
Paula Deen
Larry Fortensky
Miss Maureen O'Hara
Glen Campbell
Jack Klugman
Miss Angela Lansbury
Miss Kitty Wells
George Jones
Roy Clark
Donna Fargo
Dick Van Dyke
Steve Jobs
Amber Portwood
Charlie Sheen
Barbara Bush
Barry Manilow
Chaz Bono (dangerous diet, but not really)
John Edwards (suicidal)
Kendra Wilkinson (suicidal)
Casey Anthony (either suicidal or she's going to be murdered)
Ali Lohan (too skinny)
Taylor Armstrong (too skinny)
Reese Witherspoon (had a concussion)

And then there's the list of people mentioned before the beginning of the year that got mentioned again.

Kirk Douglas
Miss Doris Day
Regis Philbin
Miss Loretta Lynn
James Garner
Billy Graham
Bob Barker
Jerry Lee Lewis
Nancy Reagan
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Aretha Franklin
Whitney Houston
Bill Clinton

This means for this year, 2 correct predictions and 37 people who are still alive, some with health problems that could be life threatening, many with the promise of many years to come. 2 of 39 is a pathetic batting average of .051, and the overall numbers are 10 of 92 for .109, over twice as good as the numbers for last year but still incredibly bad.

Eventually, if they stop predicting, they have to bat 1.000. It's stunning how bad they are at this verifiable stuff, which calls into question all the stuff they write we can't verify.

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