Thursday, August 4, 2011

Not Long 4 This World Alert:
Chaz Bono's life in danger!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 15 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays!

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been... oh hell, who am I kidding? I was raised agnostic and I've NEVER been to confession.

But I did sin. I opened one of these damned magazines.

To me, "life in danger" isn't exactly "Brave Last Days", and even though the Flagship also wrote "Cher fights to save him", I had to see what the big damn deal was.

Chaz is getting hitched and wants to diet for the wedding.

As a fat person, I say good for him.

The Enquirer says he is putting his life at risk by going on a 2,000 calorie a day diet.

Aww, hellz no, as we say in Oaktown.

1,500 calories a day, that's dicey. 900 calories a day? That what the Germans fed Jewish prisoners who they wanted to keep alive just long enough to build the V-2 rocket sites.

Extremely bad idea.

But 2,000 calories is completely within the normal scale. I am giving it a Not Long 4 This World label because they used the word "deadly" in the article, but I'm still calling bullshit on this story.

You want to lose weight for your wedding, Chaz? Good idea. You have to look at those pictures forever.

Best wishes to all concerned.


1 comment:

Karen Zipdrive said...

Hard to believe he's fat AND short. What a combo.