Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Damn You Skinnier Alert™:
Aretha loses 85 pounds in five months.

Publication: People
Date: 2 May 2011

Until now, all stories about Miss Aretha Franklin have been in the National Enquirer, and none of them were good. Now, Miss Aretha gets a story in People where she says she's healthy and she's lost 85 pounds.

In December, there were several news organizations who went with the story that Aretha had pancreatic cancer. She denies it and I'm inclined to take her at her word, though I'm just your standard consumer of news, so I have no special insights into who is telling the truth in this case.

In any case, best wishes to Miss Franklin, her family and friends, from a fan.


Karen Zipdrive said...

I smell a gastric bypass! Smells like old pie to me.

Matty Boy said...

A lot of sources said she had pancreatic cancer back last year, but it could just have been several people taking the Enquirer's word.

I have little idea what is true and what isn't in the tabloids, outside of Skeeter Davis Alerts, which are all nonsense, but when it comes to Miss Aretha, your guess is as good as mine.

Actually, it's probably better.