Tuesday, January 25, 2011

You So Crazy Alert™:
Lisa Marie collapses!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 31 January 2011

Pick on Scientologists Day continues here at It's News 2 Them™, and this time it's The Flagship picking on Lisa Marie Presley, who they say collapsed recently. Here are the sub-headlines.
  • Loses shocking 55 lbs. in 5 months!
  • Husband rushes to save her as she falls to floor
  • Flies to L.A. for treatment
  • Health secret she's hiding
Okay, let me get a little mathy here. (Those who know me know I can't help it.) Five months is about 22 weeks, so that means she was losing two and a half pounds a week on average. That's not shocking, that's good steady progress. But by the rules of the AMI kennel, if a Scientologist does a thing, it is by definition shocking or bad. Gain weight, lose weight, FAIL to lose weight... bad, bad, bad!

Glad I could clear that up for anyone unclear on the concept.

1 comment:

Karen Zipdrive said...

She's suffered enough, and since she's not exactly a public figure, the tabs should lay off.