Publication: Star magazine
Date: 5 Apr. 2010
Last story of an admittedly slow week. Johnny Depp has re-buffed Angelina Jolie's advances on the set of their new film, and she is humiliated that she will not be able to add him to the long list of conquests she has landed in her illustrious career as Hollywood's great succubus of the past two decades.
The new tabloid week starts tomorrow, and you can expect a lot more of the Sandra Bullock-Jesse James drama, while Ms. Jolie makes a comeback as the star the tabs hate the most.
And there's more! New names will be added to the Brave Last Days and Not Long 4 This World lists, and a Hairdresser Alert that you may not believe!
(Like any of us believe any of this.)