Friday, May 28, 2010

Skeeter Davis Alert:
The world ends on an easy date to remember

Publication: Sun
Date: 7 June 2010

Don't ask for consistency from the Sun. The specific date for the End Of The World is... how shall we say?

Fluid.

But this week, let's go with July 4.

Good news. It's a Sunday and if you live in the U.S., you'll have the next day off to recover.

Who says July 4? What can we expect? Glad you asked.

  • Edgar Cayce foresaw killer fire storms
  • John the Evangelist says Satan will be in Congress
  • Black Elk tells us who will be saved
  • Mother Teresa points to hidden Bible secrets
Okay, a few points. Usually, Congress is not in session on July 4 OR on Sundays, so this one seems odd. Also, if Congress is in session, both Michele Bachmann and James Inhofe will be there, so Satan better bring his own microphone.

Some of us will be saved? What kind of cheap ass End of the World is this?

Since when did Mother Teresa become Bernadette Soubirous? They gotta do a better job of keeping their nuns straight over at the Sun.

Anyway, have a good time on the 4th. You may have a chance to avoid cleaning up after the party. But wear a good sun screen anyway, just in case. Like the fireworks you buy off the back of a truck, sometimes the End of the World turns out to be a dud.



2 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

...and always buy a fifth on the third.

Padre Mickey said...

I thought Satan was always in congress, sitting with the GOP.