Saturday, May 8, 2010

Problems with Plastic Alert™:
Heidi's huge hooters won't go away!

Publications: Star, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 17 May 2010

Okay, let's admit it. Heidi Montag's bodacious ta-tas are the elephant in the room. We cannot avoid discussing them.

Two supermarket rags help us with that discussion.

Star: Heidi: "I made a mistake."

Well, that's a frakking boring discussion. Anything else?

Glad you asked, hypothetical question asker.

Weekly Life & Style: "Heidi FORCED into more surgery!"

Okay, now we're getting somewhere! Was it her scumbag fame whore satellite husband who is making her get even more grotesquely large boobs?

No! According to her fame whore satellite husband!

I admit it, I checked inside. Spencer Pratt, an unreliable witness it there ever was one, says that Heidi snapped after a comment by... wait for it... Ryan Seacrest!

Yes, Ryan Seacrest, Hairdresser Alert in waiting, says to Heidi when she comes to his radio show something to the effect of "Your breasts aren't that big", and this idiot chick SNAPS and opts for the next size up!

This is Spencer's story and he's sticking to it. He is either continuing to remain married with a DERANGED woman or he's lying, probably to cover his part in her continued self-disfigurement.

Which possibility seems more likely to you?


Karen Zipdrive said...

I think Spencer, aka Scott Disick's alter ego, is to blame for all of Heidi's plastic surgery.
See, they gave her tons of pain medication after the procedures, and I suspect the drugs make being around that douche bag more bearable.

Matty Boy said...

If she's doped up to the gills, it probably makes his life more bearable as well.

Supposedly, Heidi is a wake-up call for all of Hollywood, a warning that "you look like a stripper" is actually not a compliment.