Thursday, March 18, 2010

Weekly World News Alert:
11th Commandment discovered!

Publication: Weekly World News (Sun)
Date: 29 Mar. 2010

Words cannot express how I love the Weekly World News, and this is a sentiment shared by all right thinking Americans. The teaser headline on the otherwise useless Sun this week was just that the 11th Commandment was found, but I had to open it up and actually read it.

For those of you not taking notes, the 10th Commandment is the one about not coveting. There are two different versions, but both start with a list (thy neighbor's house, wife, slaves, field, etc.) and end with "or anything thy neighbor owns". As a mathematician, I have to say the list is superfluous. Once you put the addendum of "anything thy neighbor owns", the stuff that came before is unnecessary.

Not so fast, true believers!

The Weekly World News wants you to know that the recently discovered 11th Commandment is a list of stuff your neighbor can have that you are ALLOWED to covet.

You can covet thy neighbor's sister-in-law. Okay, that makes sense, no ownership is implied.

You can covet thy neighbor's friends. Again, this is fair. No one can own friends.

You can covet thy neighbor's camel.

Wait a second. What's up with that? Your neighbor doesn't own his camel? Are camels only available on a lease option? Is it a rent to own situation?

This will be a question debated by serious Biblical scholars for decades.

Don't ever change, Weekly World News.


Mauigirl said...

Great, I'm so relieved I can covet my neighbor's camel! I was feeling so guilty about it until now! God, I wish I had that damn camel!

Matty Boy said...

Oh yeah, that camel is foine! Much better than that neighbor of yours deserves.

Karen Zipdrive said...

My neighbor has a camel, but the damn thing spits and headbutts and I want nothing to do with him.