Thursday, March 25, 2010

Not Long 4 This World Alert:
Camilla Parker-Bowles

Publication: Globe
Date: 5 Apr. 2010

New headlines on Thursday! This week, a lot of the tabs have less stories on the front page because a lot of that space was given to their new favorite story, poor Sandra Bullock and the despicable scumbag Jesse James.

The Globe must think they are published in the U.K. given how often they use the front page to talk about the royal family. Back in December, we were told that old Liz Windsor was dying, and this week it's her nasty daughter-in-law who is soon to kick the bucket, with liver failure as the listed proximate cause.

This is really a Demon Rum Alert disguised as Not Long 4 This World story, but they used the word "dying", so I am classifying this as the 22nd person this year the tabloids have told us are on death's door. As of the beginning of spring, all 22 are still alive. A more detailed score card will be posted at the end of the month.


3 comments:

Karen Zipdrive said...

I thought the English just shot horses when they can't race anymore.
Oh, and by the way, The Globe is owned by Brits and a passel of their reporters in the U.S. are Brits.

Matty Boy said...

Thank, KZ, that's good to know. The Globe and the National Examiner are the only ones to pick on the royals, and also George W. and Laura as well as Barry and Michelle.

Karen Zipdrive said...

The Brits invented guttersniping celebrity gossip rags, but the Italians invented the papparazzi.
What a team!