Thursday, February 4, 2010

Love Bird Alert™:
Taylor Swift and Cory Monteith

Publications: OK!, Us Weekly, Star
Date: 15 Feb. 2010

Okay, this is how this works. Two celebrities are seen together at a public function. If it isn't completely obvious that they are just co-stars of some movie or TV show, and even if they are co-stars, the tabloids assume that after the picture is taken, they are immediately in some private room exchanging bodily fluids and planning where to put the tattoos of each other's names.

Cory Monteith of the TV show Glee was seen with Grammy winner and completely adorable young lady Taylor Swift at the Clive Davis after-Grammy party, so they are a couple.

We will see that if Taylor really is coupling with everybody the tabloids claim she is coupling with, she is a serious slutty slut slut, as The Monarch once called Dr. Girlfriend. (Venture Brothers reference, to show I'm down with the indie crowd.) Another possibility is that Taylor is being falsely paired off with all these eligible guys to throw folks off the scent. My followers dguzman and Karen Zipdrive would be able to speak to this with far more authority than I can.


Karen Zipdrive said...

I think Miss Swift bats for your team, but that Glee guy makes my gaydar go off like a bomb siren during WWII. Cory Manteeth probably would greatly prefer Taylor LAUTNER.

Matty Boy said...

Yeah, I'm not picking up the vibe from Ms. Swift either, but careful publicists used to do a better job of protecting their stars reputation, and Taylor is a Nashville girl, where they still play the show biz game the old fashioned way.

Karen Zipdrive said...

She's only 19. She won't be labeled a whore until she's at least 21, but by then Miley Cyrus will be on her third rehab stint and a mother of two crack babies of uncertain ancestry.