Friday, January 22, 2010

Weekly World News Alert: Michael Jackson is alive

Publication: Sun
Date: 1 Feb. 2010

The Sun is the least useful tabloid on the shelf for me. The headlines tend to be vague mentions of prophecies to be found inside or horoscopes and diets. But the rag has one redeeming feature on the cover, and that is a single mention of a story from the online Weekly World News.

All connoisseurs of tabloid remember the WWN fondly. This is where we found out about the Bay Boy found in a cave, and the grey skinned alien that met with world leaders and endorsed presidential candidates.

Other tabloids worried about being sued. The Weekly World News had evolved beyond such petty thoughts by making up every story out of whole cloth. It was more like performance art than a newspaper, and I had many friends, including Padre Mickey, who loved it dearly.

This week, the single blurb from the WWN tells us Michael Jackson is alive, even though for the past few years when he was alive, he looked like Joan Crawford's death mask.

Just thought you would like to know.


Padre Mickey said...

Well, that didn't take long!

Matty Boy said...

This blog is experiencing mission creep. I only wanted to post things that could be verified, but the single Weekly World News blurbs on the cover of The Sun are way too good to pass up, so there will be more in the weeks and months to come.

Karen Zipdrive said...

I think it took forever for this news to surface!!
I can't wait for the sightings to start. Oh wait...maybe he's causing all those goats to faint.